I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
