I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
