So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
You can't motorboat a personality
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
