Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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