and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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