One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
