the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
