he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Randomize
