drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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