im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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