I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
