This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
only you would photoshop your dick
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
