Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
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