Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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