Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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