I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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