Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize