I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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