C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Randomize
