You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
