the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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