bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
