Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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