You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
