I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
