D3 body, D1 cock
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
