Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
You brought string cheese to the strip club
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
