i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
