Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
