When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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