beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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