what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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