He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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