hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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