I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
A+ Viking dick
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