some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
