Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
