Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
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