im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
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