Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
