Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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