Having a random hookup so left but love u
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
How many fucks given?
0.12846
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
