there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
