the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
