The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
