she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
