He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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