no, he came in my armpit
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
