just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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