wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
